Why Positive Thinking doesn’t Always Work (and What to Do Instead)

Positive thinking can be incredibly helpful. Research shows that optimism and gratitude can improve mood, resilience, and even overall health (Fredrickson, 2001). But if you’ve ever tried to ‘just think positive’ when struggling with anxiety, overthinking, or low self-esteem, you’ll know that sometimes, it’s not that simple. In some cases, trying to force positive thoughts can feel frustrating or even add to the pressure.

That doesn’t mean positive thinking isn’t valuable—it absolutely is. But when it doesn’t seem to be working, it can help to explore other approaches that might better support you.

Why Positive Thinking doesn’t Always Feel Effective

While positivity can be a great tool, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. If you try to replace deeply ingrained negative thoughts with overly positive ones, your brain might struggle to accept them.

For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed about work and tell yourself: “Everything is fine, and I have nothing to worry about,” your brain might respond with: “That’s not true—I have deadlines, I feel behind, and I don’t believe this at all.” This can sometimes lead to more stress and self-doubt rather than relief (Wood et al., 2009).

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:

• “I should be grateful; why do I feel this way?”
• “I just need to think positive and stop overreacting.”
• “Other people have it worse; I have no right to feel anxious.”

Then you may have experienced this challenge. Your brain needs thoughts that feel believable—not just positivity for the sake of it.

Two Approaches to Try if Positive Thinking isn’t Helping

If positive thinking alone isn’t working for you, it doesn’t mean you should stop using it altogether. Instead, here are two additional approaches that can help shift your mindset in a way that feels more natural and effective:

1. Balanced Thinking: Creating Realistic, Supportive Thoughts

Instead of jumping from a negative thought to an overly positive one, try a more neutral, realistic perspective.

• Unhelpful thought: “I’m going to fail this presentation; I’m terrible at public speaking.”
• Overly positive thought: “I’m amazing at public speaking, and this will be perfect!”
• Balanced thought: “I might feel nervous, but I’ve prepared, and I’ve handled challenges before.”

Your brain is more likely to accept a neutral, evidence-based thought than one that feels forced (Hollon & Kendall, 1980).

2. Behaviour First, Thoughts Follow

A key principle in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is that changing your behaviour can shift your mindset—not the other way around. Instead of waiting for your thoughts to change, taking small actions can help prove to your brain that you can handle situations.

For example:

• Instead of waiting to feel confident before speaking up in a meeting, start small by making one comment.
• Instead of avoiding a task because you feel overwhelmed, break it into one-minute steps.
• Instead of isolating when anxious, send a simple message to a friend.

Each small action rewires your brain’s belief about what you’re capable of (Bandura, 1977).

Final Thoughts: Different Approaches Work for Different People

If positive thinking hasn’t worked for you in certain situations, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong. Real change doesn’t come from forcing positivity—it comes from finding approaches that genuinely support you.

If you find yourself frustrated when positive thinking doesn’t work, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to need more than just mindset shifts—you deserve strategies that truly support you. The important thing is to explore what resonates with you and what helps you feel more in control.

Have you ever struggled with positive thinking? Let’s talk about it. If you’d like personalised support, you can book an in-person or online therapy session with me.

References

• Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioural change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215.
• Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: the broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226.
• Hollon, S. D., & Kendall, P. C. (1980). Cognitive self-statements in depression: development of an automatic thoughts questionnaire. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 4(4), 383–395.
• Wood, J. V., Perunovic, W. Q. E., & Lee, J. W. (2009). Positive self-statements: power for some, peril for others. Psychological Science, 20(7), 860–866.